addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
