She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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