U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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