I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Randomize
