forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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