i can't believe i had my finger in that
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
