I'm laying in your front yard are you home
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
