Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
