you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
