you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
