I murdered the dance floor call the cops
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
