Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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