its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
