I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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