maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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