it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize