Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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