This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
