i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Im part way to drunk.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
