I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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