There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
