She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize