i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
