He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
