Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
