I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I need water and some morals
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
