Quick, to the slutcave!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
