I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
