Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
