Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
my being single is dangerous.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
