i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
