Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
