it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
