im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We don't watch enough power rangers
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Randomize
