I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
