that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
