I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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