Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
