is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
