I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Never underestimate the power of titties
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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