My liver just broke up with me...
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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