they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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