he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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