did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize