I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
