I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
