sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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