Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
