brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
