I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize