so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize