No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
