Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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