I'm lost and stupid without you.
I didn't shave. On purpose
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
