so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I still have a little drunk in my system
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
