they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Operation Purity has been aborted
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
