i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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