Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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