it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
