Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
