This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
