More tranny stories later!
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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